i have a ne-ew bi-ike, i have a ne-ew bi-ike

Yes, this is my new (to me) bike. And yes, it is in my living room. (Don't tell Mark - I'll move it to the basement before he comes home on Friday, promise ... it's just really hea-vy ...)

I found it on one of the ex-pat sites I frequent called the English Forum. I have been looking for a bike for months now, as Mark and I were unable to bring ours to Zurich because our shed in Concord was frozen shut when the movers came ... total bummer too, as I just just had my bike tuned up and it was perfect for me - and a pretty shade of green too! -

Anyway, I've been looking at second hand bikes as new ones over here - like pretty much everything - are v. expensive. Turns out second hand bikes ain't cheap either ... but I was on a mission and scoured the sites I've found that occasionally have used items for sale and viola! I found one ... but I had to act quickly.

I had to take a bus then a tram to go see the bike and in the end, Mark was able to meet me there which made me feel better - though any price negotiation was pretty much out as he was looking swanky and 'money' in his fab suit, tie and new overcoat, (not to mention his v. handsome new haircut I convinced him to get in Bellagio last week).

We checked the bike out, I rode it, in one gear, for about 20 feet and proclaimed that it was great. (I know ... such a tough customer). We had not brought the entire amount of cash with us, which was fine as I gave them a deposit and said I'd come back this a.m. to pick it up, pay the balance and ride it home.

Fast forward to this morning. Mark is leaves for the UK for a few days, and I get up and don my 'biking' duds (yoga pants, sneakers, t-shirt and thin Patagonia pullover), put my wallet, a rain hat, the book I am currently reading and an apple in my backpack and head back to the other side of town to pick up my new, red bike!

I arrived at the apartment complex and was met with a veritable daycare of toddlers running around in front of the door where I needed to press the buzzer to let the husband of Elen know I was there to claim my bike.

It's cold here right now, about 10 Celsius (don't ask my what that is exactly in Fahrenheit, but I assure you, it's too cold for kids to be running around in no coat) so I got to see lots of red and runny noses while I waited for the dude to answer the door.

We found out last night that he had just arrived from Ukraine about a month ago and was studying German at home while his wife was in school. He brought the bike up from the basement, placing it in front of me with a toothy grin. I pulled out my wallet, gave him the cash owed, waved and began to walk my bike towards the forest, where I had planned to ride all the way to our apartment.

I hopped on the bike about 100 yards past the apartment complex, downshifted (do you say that in bike speak?) and the whole mechanism on the back wheel dropped to a different location and the chain would no longer move. At all. "Great," I uttered. But still remained calm, despite the pit in my stomach I had regarding this new situation.

Now anyone who knows me knows that I am not keen on confrontation and don't like knocking on stranger's doors, or buzzing their buzzers, I don't like bothering people and frankly, much of the time, I don't like talking to people. I am the classic introverted extrovert. Go figure that one out ... (and be sure to call when you figure out what it means...)

So given the above, I was v. proud of myself for 1/2 dragging 1/2 carrying my newly acquired bike back to Mr. Ukraine to show him what had happened. Mind you, he speaks no German. I speak no German. He speaks no English. I speak no Ukrainian. Already my anxiety was rising, but I tried to think of how my mother would handle it and I felt better (my mother can talk to anyone, even in languages she does not know - she is not afraid of confrontation, or anyone or anything ... my mother is pretty much amazing - so I tried to channel her).

I buzzed again and he came down the stairs smiling. I tried to (loudly and slowly, as we all know makes those who do not understand our language understand) speak and point and draw pictures in the air about what had happened. I can say 'one' in many languages so I tried that, as that is the gear I went into when it all fell apart - literally.

Somehow we managed to communicate and he went upstairs to get some little Allen wrench-like tools which kind of helped. I was relieved that he was so helpful and not laughing at me saying in his language, "sucker" and slamming the door in my face.

He fiddled. I held the bike steady and we both, hmmm'd and ummmm'd and exchanged looks when something obviously worked (or made it worse).

Suddenly my new friend asked, "you talk Spanish?" I said, "Si" and before I could say, "un poco or un poquito", he started sounding like that little Mexican mouse-guy on Bugs Bunny, explaining the situation as he saw it and so happy that we could now communicate. I was pleased when I remembered, from my high school Spanish class that "mas despacio, por favor" means,' more slowly, please'. And I said that to him, though it did not help. I followed and got every 10th word or so and was now really missing our previous, guttural and charade-like communication method.

Eventually, we got it to a place where I was confident the bike would make it and we exchanged our "Adios" and I was (wobbily) off.

My adventure home was not too terribly exciting save for the fact that I rode about 1 mile and walked my new bike up giant hills for about 2.5 miles. Awesome. A great workout to be sure. And going down the hill toward our place at the v. end of the ride was heavenly. (I think I may not be breaking correctly - I feel like I should be downshifting somehow .. maybe? Any advice is welcome)

Now I just need to find a bike for Mark...

i'm dying for a Dunkin' Donuts iced coffee right now

Just wanted to let that be known.

One week until my best friend, Dr. Juli Parker and her fabulous husband, Jeff arrive here in Zurich. I'm v. excited but don't think it has fully hit me yet, as I have been focused on organizing things for a yard sale that was pretty much a bust (time spent - 20 hours), rehearsing and performing in a staged reading at the Zurich Comedy Club (time spent - 15 hours) and preparing for a photo shoot for a 2009 calendar which will be used as a fundraiser for the English Forum, an ex-pat site (time spent - 30 hours) ...

The yard sale was a bust because there were only about 20 people who came through the sale, where about 10 of us had schlepped many of our things and set up tables and waited patiently for the rush that never came ... v.v.v. frustrating, as I, having no car, dragged 4 huge, heavy bags and myself on 2 busses and one tram to get there and did not stop sweating until it was just about time to pack up and go home. I did meet a few cool women (it was hosted by the American Women's Club of Zurich), one of whom agreed that if we were stuck inside not selling anything for hours on a Saturday, we should at least be drinking ... I gave her some money and sent her out to get us some booze. So at least we had that for the last several hours.

And, as I tried not to have happen, I did end up 'shopping' at other people's tables ... there were such great deals! In the end, I did come out ahead - barely, even with the 20 CHF entry fee, supporting the bake sale (cupcakes for M., apple tart and coffee for me), purchasing things (a necklace for 3 CHf! An antique seltzer bottle - I collect them - for 5 CHF and free kids books for when people with kids - you know who you are - come and visit) so other than having to repack and re-drag 4 bag-fulls home again, it was fun! (My hero-husband came and met me to help carry and commisserate with the somewhat wasted day and my frustration at the lack of marketing...)

The play reading was great - I'm really enjoying working with and being a part of this group. Tomorrow I will go with a v. cool woman, Karen, originally from NY, to the English Speaking Theatre Festival about an hour away and help behind the scenes with our group's entry to the fest.

The reading on Monday night was a 'debutantes' evening, as it was cast with almost all new comers and those who had never read or been on stage before. I played Meg, the bride in the only role that was not double-cast. I was v. proud of all these brave souls, especially as many do not have english as their native tongue and did a smash-up job.

The only real gaffe of the evening was mine - and I am glad that it happened at this point in my life, not sooner, as I don't know that I could have handled the embarassment and aftershock when I was younger ... Because my husband in the play has cheated on me and I have found out the night before the wedding, I am v. emotional and crying/weepy during much of the second act. At an expecially emotional point, the character of my mother sees this and offers me her hanky and holds it up to my nose saying, 'blow'....

Now, I don't know that I really need to go on here, but I will - just a bit. You see, though the cast had a few 'rehearsals' in bits, we never were all together and much of the time was spent helping with pronunciation, etc... not with physical 'bits' ... so when my mother told me to blow - I (Kristen) had gotten weepy in the character and was also suffering a bit of allergies - I made a noise to pretend to blow and was perhaps a bit too forceful, for as she took away the hankie, I was still blowing bubbles, as it were ....

I can't remember the last time I broke character on stage and it is something I pride myself in not doing, but when this happened and I immediately put my script up to my face and saw that the audience, who were v. close to the action was in hysterics, I too lost it and ad libbed - in character - about my allergies and side stepped over to the box of tissues that was on the desk (thank goodness).

From that point on in the play, I had a tissue in my palm just in case. I am still shocked that I did not loose it again, as it was v.v.v. funny and there were giggling twitters throughout the audience like aftershocks as we went along. And god knows, if I had been in the audience, it would have taken everything I had not to keep laughing ....

When I go to the next reading on Monday night, I expect a barrage of tissues to be handed to me and/or rolls of toilet paper, etc... I see it as an initiation of sorts into the group and really - what are you going to do?!! I am proud of myself for not being more mortified and embarassed and for laughing at the situation and myself (which is something I do often...)

The photo shoot is something I'm not sure I am handling as well. I saw a few of the photos this morning over email and must say - and this is not me being hyper-critical and ridiculous - that I look pretty lousy in them. I guess my mirror at the apt is a good 'skinny' mirror and I felt that I looked better in my white ski pants, white zip up shirt and white fuzzy, faux fur hat than I really did.

There are no excuses. I just wish I was more happy about the results. I am pleading with the photographer to use one that is more goofy, typical Kristen and that is less embarassing than using one that looks like I am trying to be all sexy and sassy and falls miserably short of that mission ...

Ahh, life's lessons. I'm not sure what this one was - perhaps the same one I keep failing - being comfortable and confident in one's own skin. I know I am no longer 20 and that I was never thin and never tall so when I look at a photo and see someone who is almost 40, short, curvy and not as photogenic as she used to be, it's still hard. Especially when you want to go back in time and not agree to pose for a calendar that will be available for some/many/who knows? to see .... But there is a reason and maybe it's just that. Maybe some young girl who is also not tall, thin and gorgeous will see the calendar and feel more confident in her own skin. I know that would have helped me when I was younger.

It's a good thing that Juli will be here in a week - she is the main reason I'm not (even more) hung up on all these body image and self issues ... she runs the Women's Center at UMass. Dartmouth and teaches women's studies and just got her Ph.D! An amazing woman and an amazing friend - and she actually thinks that I will be going topless with her on the beaches in Italy in a few weeks! Well... maybe I'll just surprise everyone and myself and do it.

Okay - that felt like a therapy session ... Forget the coffee, I need a drink.