Just wanted to let that be known.
One week until my best friend, Dr. Juli Parker and her fabulous husband, Jeff arrive here in Zurich. I'm v. excited but don't think it has fully hit me yet, as I have been focused on organizing things for a yard sale that was pretty much a bust (time spent - 20 hours), rehearsing and performing in a staged reading at the Zurich Comedy Club (time spent - 15 hours) and preparing for a photo shoot for a 2009 calendar which will be used as a fundraiser for the English Forum, an ex-pat site (time spent - 30 hours) ...
The yard sale was a bust because there were only about 20 people who came through the sale, where about 10 of us had schlepped many of our things and set up tables and waited patiently for the rush that never came ... v.v.v. frustrating, as I, having no car, dragged 4 huge, heavy bags and myself on 2 busses and one tram to get there and did not stop sweating until it was just about time to pack up and go home. I did meet a few cool women (it was hosted by the American Women's Club of Zurich), one of whom agreed that if we were stuck inside not selling anything for hours on a Saturday, we should at least be drinking ... I gave her some money and sent her out to get us some booze. So at least we had that for the last several hours.
And, as I tried not to have happen, I did end up 'shopping' at other people's tables ... there were such great deals! In the end, I did come out ahead - barely, even with the 20 CHF entry fee, supporting the bake sale (cupcakes for M., apple tart and coffee for me), purchasing things (a necklace for 3 CHf! An antique seltzer bottle - I collect them - for 5 CHF and free kids books for when people with kids - you know who you are - come and visit) so other than having to repack and re-drag 4 bag-fulls home again, it was fun! (My hero-husband came and met me to help carry and commisserate with the somewhat wasted day and my frustration at the lack of marketing...)
The play reading was great - I'm really enjoying working with and being a part of this group. Tomorrow I will go with a v. cool woman, Karen, originally from NY, to the English Speaking Theatre Festival about an hour away and help behind the scenes with our group's entry to the fest.
The reading on Monday night was a 'debutantes' evening, as it was cast with almost all new comers and those who had never read or been on stage before. I played Meg, the bride in the only role that was not double-cast. I was v. proud of all these brave souls, especially as many do not have english as their native tongue and did a smash-up job.
The only real gaffe of the evening was mine - and I am glad that it happened at this point in my life, not sooner, as I don't know that I could have handled the embarassment and aftershock when I was younger ... Because my husband in the play has cheated on me and I have found out the night before the wedding, I am v. emotional and crying/weepy during much of the second act. At an expecially emotional point, the character of my mother sees this and offers me her hanky and holds it up to my nose saying, 'blow'....
Now, I don't know that I really need to go on here, but I will - just a bit. You see, though the cast had a few 'rehearsals' in bits, we never were all together and much of the time was spent helping with pronunciation, etc... not with physical 'bits' ... so when my mother told me to blow - I (Kristen) had gotten weepy in the character and was also suffering a bit of allergies - I made a noise to pretend to blow and was perhaps a bit too forceful, for as she took away the hankie, I was still blowing bubbles, as it were ....
I can't remember the last time I broke character on stage and it is something I pride myself in not doing, but when this happened and I immediately put my script up to my face and saw that the audience, who were v. close to the action was in hysterics, I too lost it and ad libbed - in character - about my allergies and side stepped over to the box of tissues that was on the desk (thank goodness).
From that point on in the play, I had a tissue in my palm just in case. I am still shocked that I did not loose it again, as it was v.v.v. funny and there were giggling twitters throughout the audience like aftershocks as we went along. And god knows, if I had been in the audience, it would have taken everything I had not to keep laughing ....
When I go to the next reading on Monday night, I expect a barrage of tissues to be handed to me and/or rolls of toilet paper, etc... I see it as an initiation of sorts into the group and really - what are you going to do?!! I am proud of myself for not being more mortified and embarassed and for laughing at the situation and myself (which is something I do often...)
The photo shoot is something I'm not sure I am handling as well. I saw a few of the photos this morning over email and must say - and this is not me being hyper-critical and ridiculous - that I look pretty lousy in them. I guess my mirror at the apt is a good 'skinny' mirror and I felt that I looked better in my white ski pants, white zip up shirt and white fuzzy, faux fur hat than I really did.
There are no excuses. I just wish I was more happy about the results. I am pleading with the photographer to use one that is more goofy, typical Kristen and that is less embarassing than using one that looks like I am trying to be all sexy and sassy and falls miserably short of that mission ...
Ahh, life's lessons. I'm not sure what this one was - perhaps the same one I keep failing - being comfortable and confident in one's own skin. I know I am no longer 20 and that I was never thin and never tall so when I look at a photo and see someone who is almost 40, short, curvy and not as photogenic as she used to be, it's still hard. Especially when you want to go back in time and not agree to pose for a calendar that will be available for some/many/who knows? to see .... But there is a reason and maybe it's just that. Maybe some young girl who is also not tall, thin and gorgeous will see the calendar and feel more confident in her own skin. I know that would have helped me when I was younger.
It's a good thing that Juli will be here in a week - she is the main reason I'm not (even more) hung up on all these body image and self issues ... she runs the Women's Center at UMass. Dartmouth and teaches women's studies and just got her Ph.D! An amazing woman and an amazing friend - and she actually thinks that I will be going topless with her on the beaches in Italy in a few weeks! Well... maybe I'll just surprise everyone and myself and do it.
Okay - that felt like a therapy session ... Forget the coffee, I need a drink.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
Will she or won't she go topless... the proof will be in the pictures. :D
I can't wait to see your GORGEOUS body and coerce you into topless sunbathing on the Italian Riviera. Hasn't that always been a dream? And I have no doubt that you look just as beautiful as the last moment I saw you. Can't wait. Your blog got me a wee bit choked. And how ironic that we had the same stage screw up this year.
Your blog is great. I was at the AWCZ event as well but only for a nano-second, as you are right, there wasn't much action there... but atleast you got some good deals.
I will look out for that calendar now - that's such a courageous thing to do. I think that's great!!!!
Post a Comment